Gotham Gal

Becoming a wife..

I have written about this before.  Perhaps it is something that ebbs and flows through my thoughts.  I have been thinking about when did I become a wife?  I don't mean it in a bad way because I love being a wife.  I am talking about the categorization or 1950's description of a wife.  Someone who stays home and just makes life work for everyone because she is the perfect wife. 

Granted, being a wife is not all I do but sometimes I think it is.  I am probably not the only wife/mother who feels this way.  When you work and by that I mean going to work every day from 9-5, you are part of a team.  You have to pull your weight and your intellect is part of the process of getting things accomplished at work.  You are seen for your ability to think out of the box, get projects going, make sure businesses are profitable, direct the client, secure the legal documents.  Whatever it is, your abilities at work are appreciated at a completely different level than being at home.   You aren't a wife, you are a player.

Don't get me wrong, being home has been great for everyone including me.  My time is very flexible, my kids have a support system at home, my husband can truly focus on his business because I take care of everything else and having one person at home creates a good balance.  But sometimes, the balance is frustrating.

Helping the kids navigate their lives without passing any judgment on their thoughts is truly exhausting.  I am the support system.  Not to say that my husband isn't completely involved but there is something about being the Mom, it is just different.  Just like being the Dad is different.  Even if there are two people who are married of the same sex with a family, one takes on a role that is more the Mom role.  The person who manages their lives.  Dates, food, dinner, vacations, events, clothing, camp, shampoo, etc.   There has to be a breakdown of everyone's role in the family unit.  Each person just takes on their role as time goes on.  That is how one person ends up being the wife.  By the way, in some cases the man becomes the wife. 

You get married, have kids, both have jobs and then all of a sudden, one of you stops working.  That person would be me.  Granted I waited sometime before making that leap but in some ways it was just an evolution.  Yet I still yen for the information and intellectual conversations that I got out of work.  It wasn't like I was solving world peace but I was solving problems and my mind was working.  My husband comes home after a long day and needs to chat with the kids, help with their homework, have dinner with the family etc. and talking about the latest at work or the political crisis our country is in is just not in the cards.  I get it.  Sometimes I could care less, life is good.  Other times, I feel frustrated and an overwhelming desire to return to the days of college when we had really thought provoking conversations until 2am.  Now I barely make it until 10 so that isn't happening.  But those are the times when I feel, when did I become a wife?

Don't get me wrong, I am blessed to have 3 great kids and a wonderful supportive husband but at times I feel lonely.  I spend a lot of time by myself during the year.  I always have projects going on but being part of a working team is just different.   I had an opportunity recently to go back and roll my sleeves up and be involved in a start-up again but reality took hold and I realized that not only did I not want to return to working 40+ hours a week, I couldn't.  I couldn't because my life and my responsibilities to my kids and husband didn't allow me to.  I could have if I wanted to but truthfully I couldn't because I didn't want to work like that again.   

I am involved with plenty of things, don't get me wrong.  I sit on the school Board, I am helping with the 10th Anniversary of MOUSE, I am heading up a real estate project that we are working on ( a new home and building), and about to become involved in something else that I am incredibly excited about.  But, I still feel like there is something missing. 

I am working on figuring out the right balance.  In many ways, I am always working on having the right balance.  Perhaps it is my generation who feels like I do.  I have some friends, my age, who are so happy to be at home and never feel the way I do.  They tell me I always have been competitive and enjoyed the challenge of work.  Perhaps, perhaps not. 

I hope that my girls will be able to balance the life/work thing easier.  Maybe they will, maybe that won't.  I definitely enjoy the life we are living to the fullest but once in a while that tide comes in and I begin to feel the desire to do more than the mental challenge of the New York Times crossword puzzle every day.   

The Shadow of the Wind

My friend, who is a vocarious reader, gave me the book The Shadow of the Wind.  She said it was her favorite book of last year.  It had passed me by but I am so glad she gave it to me. 

What a fantastic read.  All the makings of a novel you don't want to put down.  Well written, intriguing tale, page turner, romance, murder, each chapter unfolds something new that surprises the reader.  I just loved it.  What I particularly loved is that the book provokes the reader to think and pay attention. 

The story takes place in Barcelona, post war, 1945.  A young boy, whose father is a book seller is the center of the novel.  He had lost his mother when he was quite young.  His father teaches him the joy of books.  He brings him to a library that secretly keeps books that are no longer are in print or are the last of its kind.  He is given the gift of picking whatever book he is wants from the millions of books to read and keep one for his own.  That is where the journey begins. 

He loves the book.  The author of the book has died yet people are very interested in obtaining the book that he has.  He sets out to find out what exactly happened to the author.  This mystery opens a world that takes you through the streets of Barcelona and gives the reader a better understanding of what that time of history was like, and the one degree of separation he finds among many.  Brilliantly thought out. 

There are so many other plot directions but I will save those for the next reader.  If you haven't read this book, I highly recommend you do.  Could be my favorite of the last 6 months, hands down. 

What's up with this Generation?

Tonight, as we were sitting around the dinner table, Jessica mentioned that kids take a particular drug to take the SAT's.  She couldn't remember but it is something that makes you focus.  My reaction was pretty quick.  "What's up with that"? 

Then we started to talk.  Why is this generation so crazed?  Is it this generation of parents?  Their desire to make sure their kids succeed?  Have they created the insanity of making sure that their kids have everything they wanted but weren't able to get?  Not sure.  But, taking drugs to make sure you focus on your SAT's seem a bit crazy to me.

Jessica seems to think a little bit of the insanity is from the Internet.  The constant communication.  The 24/7 world.  The world is now flat.  Facebook.  Blogs.  Everything coming at you all the time, anytime, when you want it. 

Are we becoming gerbils on a wheel?  I see Fred's world.  Web 1.0, one month equals 1 day.  Web 2.0, one month equals a morning.  Everybody wants a part of the Internet.  The world is hurling toward us with a click of a finger. 

I do find it amazing how this Facebook Generation is growing up.  When I was running sales in a start-up in the 90's, I had over 150 emails a day and was on the phone for 8 hours straight.  Seems like nothing compared to now. Forget the phone part but the Facebook Generation is doing just as much on their computer connecting with the world nightly. 

Kids who do video games brains are growing in a certain direction.  Good or bad?  Kids on the Facebook are learning an interesting set of skills for their future.  What are those skills?

I'd like to shout to the world that everybody should take a breath of air and enjoy the moment but this is just a different world than I grew up in.  I am on top of the technology world just as much as anybody but watching my kids and the insanity of getting into colleges, taking the SAT's and the stress of getting ahead in life almost takes your breath away.   You don't want to take a back seat because nobody else is but you do because your kids want to and have to compete in the world that they live in. 

Taking drugs to make sure you can focus on the SAT's?  There is something there that has definitely crossed the line.  Personally, that scares the shit out of me. 

Grilled Fruit

What to make for dessert that isn't heavy and ridiculously fattening?

We picked up 7 white peaches that were ready for eating.  Cut them in half.  Took golden brown sugar and every day balsamic vinegar and mixed it together.  Brushed the peaches with the mixture and grilled them for about 5 minutes or until browned.

Served everyone a scoop of frozen vanilla yogurt, 2 peach halves and then dribbled a very rich thick aged balsamic vinegar on top. 

Delicious.

An Asian Summer Meal

This meal was so easy and very summery.  Fish, corn salad, eggplant and soba noodles.

Here is the vinaigrette for the fish. 

3 T. olive oil
2 shallots chopped
2 T. grated ginger
1/4 cup lime juice
1 cup light soy sauce (less sodium is best here)
1 T. honey
1 tsp. toasted sesame oil
fresh pepper
Cilantro - 1/4-1/2 cups worth chopped (not necessary if you hate cilantro)

In a small sauce pan, put in the olive oil and get that hot.  Then put in the shallots and saute until soft.  Then add the ginger for another few minutes.  Then add the rest, bring to a boil and then simmer.  Set aside. 

Grill an entire Red Snapper and before serving, pour over the vinaigrette (warmed) and then sprinkle over the cilantro. 

Corn Salad

8 ears of corn.   Grill the corn so the kernels get browned.  Cut the corn off the cob into a bowl. 

3 T. fish sauce
2 T. water
1 1/2 T golden brown sugar
2 scallions, sliced thin
2 T. olive oil or 2 T butter

Take the fish sauce, water and sugar in a small bowl and mix until the sugar has dissolved.  Melt the butter or warm the olive oil and then add the fish mixture into a small pan.  Add the sliced scallions.
Pour over the corn.  Really good.

Eggplant.

Take 3 large eggplants and cut them each horizontally.  Place them on a baking sheet and pour olive oil and kosher salt over them and rub.  Bake at 400 or until they begin to brown.  As they became brown, I continued to turn the temperature down.  Once they were completely browned and soft I took them out of the oven.

3 T. oyster sauce
2 T. soy sauce
2 T. fish sauce
1 T. grated ginger

I mixed this up and warmed it in a small pan.  Then took a brush and brushed each eggplant with the sauce.  Put them back in the oven at 150 until I was ready to serve.

Soba Noodles

Quick and easy to make.  I make a sauce with 3 T. mirin, 3 T. oyster sauce, 3 T. soy sauce.  1 t. hot sesame oil.

Poured that over the noodles and mixed.

Big hit.

Tomato Tart

Tomatoes are best in August.  I love a good tomato tart.  Emily made one the other night.  Not only was it delicious but it was beautiful. 

We had made a bunch of dough and froze it earlier in the summer so it was quite easy.

Take a tart tin, one that has a removable bottom to lay the crust.  We baked that in the oven for about 20 minutes before hand.  We layered tin foil over the crust and old rice that I have saved over the years to keep the crust from slipping.  After about 20 minutes at 350, we took the tin foil out and let the crust bake another 5 minutes or so until browned.

Wait until the crust cools to begin making the tart.

Take 3 Vidallia Onions, sliced and sauteed until carmelized.  Then let cool.

I usually use Gruyere cheese but Jessica doesn't like it so we opted in for Manchego.  About a cups worth of grated cheese is all you need.  You can always use more if you prefer to make the tart a bit cheesier.

4 large tomatoes sliced and some thyme.

Put the onions on the bottom of the crust and spread evenly.  Then spread the cheese over that.  Then layer the tomatoes and thyme leaves throughout.  Use more tomatoes than you think.  The tomatoes have lots of water so they sink.  I'd even squeeze most of the juice out of the tomatoes prior to cutting them in slices for the   Also, sprinkle some kosher salt over the top before baking.

Then bake at 350 for about 40 minutes or until the tomatoes begin to get crisp. 

This picture is of the tart before it went into the oven. 

Healthcare for Kids

It is incredulous to me that the Bush Administration does not want to insure that kids under the poverty line (not their parents but their children) are not covered by some type of health care.  I did not realize, as it appears that I am not that the only one, that children with parents under the poverty line, are covered in each state by a national health policy.  This program has been in place for 10 years. 

Obviously the Government hasn't done such a good job of contacting the people available for the service because there are almost 2 million who are eligible that are not using it.  Regardless, the Bushies are now interesting in taking the program away.  If the Bushies hadn't brought it up, most people would probably still be in the dark that it even existed. 

What is amazing to me is why the Bushies do not want this program to exist.  Parents who can not afford health care basically use the emergency room as their doctor.  They only go when need be.  They will sit for hours until they can see a doctor for their kid because it is their only access to health care.  Keep in mind, that those bills are never paid for.  The amount owed goes under debt to the hospital and insurance companies so in essence the people who are paying to erase the debt are the people who can afford to pay their bills.  Those people, such as myself,  are having to pay higher costs in order to pay for the debt that has incurred.  Hospitals and Insurance companies dirty little secrets.  After all, they want to have a healthy balance sheet.  Somebody has to pay for the bills at one point so raising the cost of health care to individuals who can pay for it is how health care institutions wipe the slate clean. 

It is not the debt that concerns me or nor is it the higher cost of health care.  What is concerning is that these kids are not getting proper health care at a young age.  They are not getting booster or immunization shots.  So what happens when there is an epidemic among the poor children, who are now adults, and are not immunized for let's say, polio.  Who pays for it then?  What happens when the 1.9 kids who are not receiving the health care that they have been granted by the Gov't ( at this time ) start to suffer from a variety of things in their early 30's.  They can not longer work because they are sick so they just apply for what ever the Gov't will give them on the dole.  Who suffers then?  Who pays for the bills then? 

This Administration has created quite a mess for generations to come.  Live high and mighty now for all their friends in big business because we won't be around for future generations to come?  Is that the mantra?

Having a national health care policy is essential.  What is even more essential is providing access to free health care for children whose parents can not afford it.  Healthy children hopefully grow up to be healthy adults who in turn become working people of society.  Skimping out on them is skimping out on America's future. 

September is magazine month

Granted I read a slew of magazines every month.  Every couple of weeks, after reading the last issue of whatever I read, I start to look forward to my fix.  But, September is the supreme month for the magazine fix. 

The girls are totally into it too.  I have always thought of blogging the top magazines for the month but have never gotten around to it.  But, this month is special because it is all about the new Fall fashions.

W is a tome.  I have never been a huge fan of W.  A bit too fashionista for my taste and very high end.  But, it is worth scanning the ads but as a rule, I pass on W. 

Elle is hands down the best fashion magazine.  I love the content.  You can get your fill of information of what is to come in the next month by reading Elle.  What is being released from books, movies, art, theater, TV, cosmetics, clothing, travel, new stores, etc.  The layouts of clothing are good too.  Definitely worth picking up the September issue.

Vogue is the ultimate brand.  I have collected every September Vogue issue for the last 21 years.  Why?  God knows, but I have.  I'd like to go back and peruse the pages but I am afraid they will fall apart.  This September Vogue is over 800 pages.  They have a similar format to Elle but it just doesn't have the same solid content.  I still love Vogue because after all it is Vogue. 

Bazaar has truly gone down the tubes.  I don't even bother unless I happen to need a magazine fix that day. 

Food and Wine is my favorite of the food magazines.  Gourmet has a great September issue if you are into Mexican food.  Bon Appetit is the only one I pick up on the news stand vs. having a subscription.  Some months it is good and others questionable who their target market is.  Septembers issue is worth the pick up.  Lots of new recipes.

Just to give you an idea how crazed we are about the big Vogue issue for September.  We are out on the East End of Long Island and found out the day the magazine was hitting the stores.  Jessica, Emily and I drove into town.  Jessica went into White's pharmacy and she got the first one coming out of the box.  Couldn't be happier.  The woman unpacking the boxes thought she was crazy.  We bought 3 so we could have our own and discuss as we read the latest and greatest fashions for the season.

Nuts, perhaps.  But, definitely fun. 

Paella

The key to making a good paella is the broth, the rice and the pot.  I bought a huge pot for the evening. 

This paella was delicious.  I could have made it again the next night.  This recipe serves 8 people with literally not a drop left.  Making it for 6 is probably fine.

3 cups of chicken broth
2 cups clam juice
large pinch of saffron ( use a little more than you think)

Take the above and bring to a boil in a covered sauce pan. Then set aside, with the top on until cooled.

2 large vidallia onions chopped
one red pepper chopped into pieces
one green pepper chopped into pieces
one yellow pepper chopped into piece
8 italian tomatoes chopped into pieces (make sure to squeeze the juice out before chopped)
Large piece of chorizo cut into round pieces (about 3/4  lb.)
3 chicken legs, 3 chicken thighs
3/4 lb of large shrimp completely unpeeled including the tail
1/2 lb of clams (about 8 or more if you really like clams)
1/2 lb of mussels
2 1 1/2 lbs. lobster already cracked (get your fishmonger to crack the claws and body for you - makes life easier because they are still alive)
1 lb. aborrio rice
1 lb. peas ( I actually used 1 lb. edaname which you could do too)

Take a large deep pot and cover the bottom with olive oil.  When hot, put in the chorizo.  Cook for a few minutes until the chorizo crispy.  Take all of the chorizo out with a slotted spoon and set aside. 

Add the chicken pieces and cover the top because the oil will splatter.  After a few minutes, take off the top and turn the chicken. The chicken should take about 5-7 minutes.  Don't cook it completely because the chicken will continue to cook when you take it out of the pot.  Also, you are going to put the chicken back in at one point.

Add the onions and peppers and saute on a medium heat until softened.  About 5 minutes.  Then add the rice and continue to saute for about 1 minute or so to incorporate the rice.  Take the chicken broth/clam juice mixture that you set aside and measure out 4 cups.  Pour this amount over the rice and vegetables and bring to a boil.  Once the liquid begins to boil, turn down to low to medium (simmer) and cover.  Let this hang for about 10 minutes but take a peek from time to time so the rice doesn't stick to the bottom.

In a separate large sauce pan pour in the rest of the liquid and bring to a boil then bring down to medium heat.  Add the clams and cover.  I used a cover that was glass so I could watch what was happening.  When the clams opened, I immediately removed them from the pot.  Then do that with the mussels.  Then do it with the lobster but leave it in the broth.  The lobster should only take about 3 minutes.  Now all the seafood is cooked. 

Open up the paella pot and add the tomatoes and peas and stir until completely incorporated.  Now put all the seafood in, including the liquid that was used with the lobster.  Also, add in the chicken.  Stir everything around put the top back on or even turn up the heat and let the rest of the liquid boil down with the top off.  This will finish off the chicken and rice.

Voila.  Sounds hard but actually it is quite easy just a lot of steps. Don't expect any left overs. 

Townline BBQ

We finally got around to getting over to Townline BBQ last Friday night.  Townline is the latest restaurant to come from Nick and Toni's who not only have their own restaurant but also have ownership in La Fondita in Amagansett and Rowdy Hall in East Hampton.  Actually 3 of the better restaurants in the Hamptons. 

Townline is on the corner of Townline Road and Montauk Highway.  They took over the building or what we left of it and created a pretty sweet spot.  A small wooden structure filled with picnic tables inside and out.  Take out or eat in.  Set up similar to a fast food spot.  A handful of registers where you place your order.  Behind them is where the food is being made.  Once you order, they give you a small black ringer that goes off when your food is ready.  Very similar to BBQ joints in Texas although there, the food is generally sitting out ready to be dished out like a school cafeteria.

No surprises, we ordered almost everything on the menu so we could get a good sampling of the fare.  The menu is quite simple.  Beef, Pork, Other Stuff, Sides and Dessert.  We ordered beef ribs, pork ribs, brisket, pulled pork, burnt ends ( the burnt part of the pulled pork), collard greens, spicy bread and butter pickles and corn bread.  I thought we ordered the cole slaw but I guess we forgot. 

The corn bread is dense and buttery.  Good to share even though one order is only a large square, if you ate the entire piece there might not be any room for anything else.  The collard greens are OK.  Sauteed greens that have been spiced up with some ham hock pieces.  Loved the spicy bread and butter pickles.  Thinly sliced with a nice flavor and good kick. 

OK, here goes on the meats.  BBQ is a tough one for me.  I make BBQ and have for years.  When it comes to BBQ, I think I can go head to head with most restaurants and so does my family.  The beef ribs were a bit dry and not that interesting.  The pork rib were better, had more meat than I expected on them but again, not that great.  The pulled pork was good but could have been juicier and not cut into pieces but literally pulled.  The burnt ends were good.  Crispy and truly burnt.  The brisket which you can order lean or fatty was juicy, not dry and sliced perfectly.  As an overall, the meats all just taste the same.  The meats just weren't flavorful.  The brisket should taste rich and juicy, the pork should taste like pork and the beef should taste like beef.  I sound like Willy Wonka but everything just tasted the same. 

The biggest disappointment which we all gave a big thumbs down to was the BBQ sauce.  BBQ sauce with true BBQ should be thin and vinegary.  It should compliment the flavors of the BBQ.  Not here.  The sauce was thick and so overwhelming that all you tasted was sauce which wasn't so good.

I like what they did.  I really like the space and concept.  As for the food, eh.  Needless to say, I plan on having a serious BBQ fest in a few weeks with brisket and pulled pork.  After Townline, I am in need of a serious BBQ fix.