Grieving

Owen
Last week our friends lost their 8 year old son.  That sentence says it all.  An immediate shot through the heart.  The phone calls started Monday night as the information quickly made its way through the community.  Bad news travels too fast.  A tragedy.  Something that shouldn’t happen but it did.  Parents shouldn’t lose their children. 

What do you say to your kids?  How do you wrap your arms around something like this?  How do you get up the next day?  Your life changes in an instant, forever. 

Josh sobbed.  How could he not?  He hugged his friend.  He hugged us.  We watched his parents bury their son. 

Everyone grieves differently.  How does a 12 year old grieve? 

Josh and his friend, Max, decided to have a bake sale to raise money for the Owen Gerson foundation, which is set up through the Jewish Communal Fund.  They decided that this is a way they can remember and at the same time do something positive.  Josh baked for hours when we got back from the funeral.  Then the next morning the boys baked some more.

They set up shop at Atlantic Beach in Amagansett.  The boys had called Owen’s brother who sent them pictures to put on their signs.  They talked to people about what happened and why their were raising money.  Their friends helped them sell.  It was a total community effort.  There wasn’t a person who wasn’t touched by what the kids were doing.  You could see it in everyone’s face. Before the rain came, they had raised $455.  Hoping to set up shop again tomorrow and raise even more.

I am really proud of the boys.  They continue to talk, as all the adults are. They really have a desire to be with each other and other people.  They want to make their friend feel good.  They want to connect. They are well aware that life has changed.  They are trying to find comfort in their pain. There is a huge hole in all of our hearts.  These boys are doing their best to fill it. 

Comments (Archived):

  1. amy

    i don’t know your family in person but as a regular reader of your blog (and your husband’s) i wanted to offer my condolences. it sounds as if your son and his friends are managing a very sad situation in a wonderful way. i’m sure the cookies made with such kindness and generosity were delicious and much appreciated. take care.

  2. rachel

    i am so very sorry and thinking of owen and his family. grieving is horrible but your kids seem to understand the best ways to handle it.

  3. Judy

    life is so precious and its a reminder to us not to forget never to forget and all things inside of the container the vessel of life can be handled

  4. vruz

    words are idle.

    my heart goes out to all of you.

  5. Gus Block

    I am “Grampy”, maternal grandfatherof Owen and Julian. What wonderful young men Josh and Max are. You and Max’s parents should be very proud. Owen would be so pleased, and I know that he would have loved to be part of the bake sale. Of course, he would have probably eaten all the profits.

  6. Gay Block

    I am Owen and Julian’s Bubby, and Alison’s mom. i am so moved, as is everyone else in the Gerson home this evening, by your family’s loving, sensitive and generous response to the loss of our beloved Owen. It is because of friends like you that Alison, Stephane, and Julian will be able to see the light again. You all are the light.
    Love, Gay/Bubby

  7. [Charlene]

    The best way I’ve been able to help kids deal with grief is to explain that life settles into a new normal. As time passes, things seem to get back to normal, but it is a new normal. Nothing is every quite the same, but things will be good again.

    I am deeply touched by your blog and your kids reaction to this situation. There is a very strong spirit in your kids. Bravo to you for raising them in a way that has nurtured their natural instincts. My impression is that they are well prepared for the life that lays before each of them. They are special souls.

    My thoughts are with Owen’s family and all of his friends families as you adjust to this huge life change.

  8. Julian Gerson

    I am Julian, and I am Owen’s brother. Josh and Max are my two best friends at school, and at home, and Myself, and anyone who knew Owen really appreciate this. I also heard that they raised 450 dollars in one and a half hours which really inspired me.
    Thanks so much,
    Julian

  9. Julian Gerson

    I am Julian, and I am Owen’s brother. Josh and Max are my two best friends at school, and at home, and Myself, and anyone who knew Owen really appreciate this. I also heard that they raised 450 dollars in one and a half hours which really inspired me.
    Thanks so much,
    Julian

  10. francine gerson

    Bravo Max and Josh,
    You are, together with your families, showing support and generosity to your friends who need it and welcome it.
    Our little Owen would have loved it !
    Thank you for caring,
    Francine Gerson
    Owen’s grandmother