Gotham Gal: Question of the week #18

This is the question that I get asked again and again and again. I am pretty sure that everyone has a different answer to it but I will give you my 2 cents.

Can you share some time management tips for those of us juggling start-up, baby, household, life, etc?

First of all, this is and will always be a tough juggling job. If you can afford it, the key is good help. That means a few things. At the beginning that person can do a lot more than you realize and that includes keeping the house clean and doing the laundry. Babies sleep a lot and there is plenty of time in the day for someone to get those other things done for you. Again, if you can afford it, it is key. Even when we could not afford help and I was home 24/7, I had someone come once a week to change the beds and do the laundry. It was a god send.

Someone gave me this advice which was great and we have passed on to everyone we know who has had a family. Make a date night every week no matter what. If you can, hire someone to help you with childcare and have the deal be with that person right from the beginning that they stay late lets say every Thursday night. Go out alone with your wife, husband, partner and try and talk about something besides the baby. It is beyond important. Otherwise you get lost in the weeds.

The Internet is a key lifeline. Order clothes, groceries, supplies and everything you need on line and have them delivered to your place. If someone is there during the week, great, then they get to put stuff away. If not, have them delivered at a specific time once a week when you are home. If you have time, book out a few hours on Sunday to make some food for the week like pasta sauce or lasagna. Also, if you have room, buy in bulk. Always nice having a bottle of shampoo in a drawer when you run out. I am a huge fan of product depth in the house. No need to make your life more stressful.

Your kid is your number one priority and make sure you take time out for that. If that means getting home every night at 5pm to have dinner with them before they go to bed, do it. You can always return to the computer and work after they go to bed. If you don't develop those relationships with your kids when they are young they will want nothing to do with you when they get older. They are only young once and with technology, you can figure out how to balance much better than people did 20 years ago.

As your kids get older, their needs change and sometimes that means different help. Maybe you need someone to just pick up the kids when school ends and take them to their respective after school events or playdates. Then that person can do more of the cleaning, cooking and other errands in the morning. It is all based on what you can afford. It is a constant juggle but I'd rather stick to going out for pizza on my date night once a week than a nice place and a movie and put the money into good help. If you both work, having a third adult in the family is a key to life.

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Peggy Riley: Amity & Sorrow: A Novel
A mother drives for days with her daughters and ends up in a random Oklahoma town after crashing the car. They come from a polygamous community where there were 50 wives. The mother had grown up knowing life outside that community. Over time, after leaving, she almost becomes deprogrammed. The realization of what she did to her daughters who no nothing outside the world they came from including how to read. Then there is the family that brought them in. It is a fascinating story. Well written. Worthy read.
Charles Graeber: The Good Nurse: A True Story of Medicine, Madness, and Murder
An amazing true story of a male nurse who was arrested in 2002. I actually remember the story as I followed it in the papers. This nurse was a serial killer who had probably murdered over 400 patients that were under his care. A seriously well researched book. Great read.
Meg Wolitzer: The Interestings: A Novel
Wolitzer writes about a group of camp friends who all come from different walks of life (some on scholarship) as their friendships continue through their mid-50s. At the beginning the story seems trite but as you continue to read there is a lot of be said. The story is sticking with me. She makes the case that everything that happens to you from your childhood makes an impact on who you become or don't become. Worthy read.
Elizabeth Strout: The Burgess Boys: A Novel
Strouts last book won a Pulitzer. She focuses on family issues. I enjoyed this book much more than Olive Ketteredge which I found utterly depressing. This book follows two brothers and a sister who live in the shadow of their fathers accidental death. Like most siblings, all have turned out very different yet they are connected. I did not love any of the characters, like her last book, yet as The Burgess Boys moves forward and memories are revealed, it is an interesting perspective on human character.
Tamara Shopsin: Mumbai New York Scranton: A Memoir
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Michael Lavigne: The Wanting: A Novel
An incredible book that tells the human side of the many layered issues in the Middle East. From immigrating to Israel from Moscow, to being a victim of a suicide bomber yet surviving, to being pulled into an Israeli radical group. Each character is connected. Very layered well written book. Powerful
Alessandro Piol: Tech and the City: The Making of New York's Startup Community
A history of the Internet that I lived through. Great job of recording what happened.
Amity Gaige: Schroder: A Novel
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Ernest Hemingway: The Old Man and the Sea
Classic.
Janice Steinberg: The Tin Horse: A Novel
a good novel that not only tells the tale of another dysfunctional jewish family in the early 30's but interweaves pieces of los angeles history throughout the book.