Gotham Gal: Question of the week #19

This is a good one.

If you look back at who you were at 17 or so, and what you expected in your life, are you still "the same person" inside? Is your life fundamentally what you hoped for, or is it dramatically different?

I really do believe that fundamentally I am the same person inside as I was at 17. I recently met with an old boyfriend who I had not seen since I was 20. He emailed me the next day to say that I am the exact same person and he meant that in a very good way. Phew.

I was not a great student but I was always competitive and driven to financial success. I came from an upper middle class family and my parents got divorced while I was in High School. Money was always an overlying issue. My father thought my mother spent too much and my mother thought he was cheap. She went on to make a small fortune after their divorce in order to live the financial life she wanted to live. Having lived through that most definitely made an impact on me in terms of my desires to have large financial independence. Did I think that I'd be as financially success as we are? Not so sure but then again not so sure I knew the dollars and cents as much as I knew how I wanted to live my life.

Career-wise I always thought I'd grow up to run a multi-billion dollar company that I had built from scratch. I always had a head for business and actually management too. One of my all time favorite jobs was being the assistant store manager at the New Rochelle Macys store. I managed 1/3 of the store and loved it. I loved the interaction with the people, helping them grow in their careers and at the same time making an impact on the growth of the business. I was well suited to it.

Yet there are some things that are different which I think comes with age and success. I make decisions differently as I do not need to get so bogged down in the details. I feel more confident about decisions that I make. I understand that with financial success comes with its own bag of responsibilities and it is not always easy going about that. Saying no to anything from a charity to investments is constant. I try to stick to the high road and keep my compass the same as it has always been but that takes work.

I am feel incredibly lucky for the life we have created for ourselves and our children. I got what I wanted. A great husband, wonderful children, a life in NYC and the financial flexibility to do certain things. I wanted that at 17 but pretty sure that I could not articulate it like I can today but internally it was definitely what I was hoping for.

companies I have invested in

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books of the moment

Peggy Riley: Amity & Sorrow: A Novel
A mother drives for days with her daughters and ends up in a random Oklahoma town after crashing the car. They come from a polygamous community where there were 50 wives. The mother had grown up knowing life outside that community. Over time, after leaving, she almost becomes deprogrammed. The realization of what she did to her daughters who no nothing outside the world they came from including how to read. Then there is the family that brought them in. It is a fascinating story. Well written. Worthy read.
Charles Graeber: The Good Nurse: A True Story of Medicine, Madness, and Murder
An amazing true story of a male nurse who was arrested in 2002. I actually remember the story as I followed it in the papers. This nurse was a serial killer who had probably murdered over 400 patients that were under his care. A seriously well researched book. Great read.
Meg Wolitzer: The Interestings: A Novel
Wolitzer writes about a group of camp friends who all come from different walks of life (some on scholarship) as their friendships continue through their mid-50s. At the beginning the story seems trite but as you continue to read there is a lot of be said. The story is sticking with me. She makes the case that everything that happens to you from your childhood makes an impact on who you become or don't become. Worthy read.
Elizabeth Strout: The Burgess Boys: A Novel
Strouts last book won a Pulitzer. She focuses on family issues. I enjoyed this book much more than Olive Ketteredge which I found utterly depressing. This book follows two brothers and a sister who live in the shadow of their fathers accidental death. Like most siblings, all have turned out very different yet they are connected. I did not love any of the characters, like her last book, yet as The Burgess Boys moves forward and memories are revealed, it is an interesting perspective on human character.
Tamara Shopsin: Mumbai New York Scranton: A Memoir
Great book. A witty spare inventive personal diary of Tamara journey from Indian to New York to Scranton. Really really enjoyed the book.
Michael Lavigne: The Wanting: A Novel
An incredible book that tells the human side of the many layered issues in the Middle East. From immigrating to Israel from Moscow, to being a victim of a suicide bomber yet surviving, to being pulled into an Israeli radical group. Each character is connected. Very layered well written book. Powerful
Alessandro Piol: Tech and the City: The Making of New York's Startup Community
A history of the Internet that I lived through. Great job of recording what happened.
Amity Gaige: Schroder: A Novel
Not sure how much I loved this book. A father loses his child in divorce and decides to kidnap his own daughter. He is not a stable person but he obviously loves his daughter. His own childhood has made him a disconnected human being. An interesting journey but not sure I'd recommend.
Ernest Hemingway: The Old Man and the Sea
Classic.
Janice Steinberg: The Tin Horse: A Novel
a good novel that not only tells the tale of another dysfunctional jewish family in the early 30's but interweaves pieces of los angeles history throughout the book.